JonPaulUritis.com

Things That Have Almost Killed Me


I’m celebrating my 30th birthday November 4th. I am completely flabbergasted that I have lived this long. So in honor of my 30th I’d like to put out to the world a list of things that could have killed me, or could have led to situations that could have killed me.

  • Fell off a cliff at a rock quarry into a foot and a half of water
  • Broke my back snowboarding (later broke my clavicle snowboarding)
  • Fist fight at our Christmas formal that Heavy B saved me from having a 1.75 bottle of Jack Daniels smashed through the back of my head.
  • Having a old guy crash through the window into our retail location with his car.
  • 3 car accidents
  • 1 near car accident because we were having a 6 person Nerf gun fight in a mini-van I was driving, but its okay because we won
  • Almost hit by a NYC subway
  • Food poisoning in Tianjin China.
  • Almost drowned surfing hurricane swell at Salt Creek (double overhead)
  • Guy at Johnny Brenda’s in Fishtown pulled his gun on us
  • Almost drowned by pod of dauphins
  • Hit a deer with a car in Minnesota
  • United almost crashing the plane on my way home to California (totally not kidding) last December
  • Not really life threatening but I feel like its worth mentioning I was almost Deported back to Canada (I have dual-citizenship)
  • Fell off a rooftop in Philadelphia


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